Fall Brawl 1993

Subject: Fall Brawl 1993 Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:22 am

Opening Match, WCW TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Lord Steven Regal (w/Sir William).
Regal attacked Steamboat and injured his ribs "the night before" on WCW Saturday Night. That doesn't stop Steamboat from taking it right to him. If you ever want to see the magic of Steamboat, watch this match. He's got his ribs taped, giving Regal the storyline of the match as he repeatedly kicks Ricky and punches him in the side. This gives Ricky the chance to sell like he's being stabbed in the ribs with a rusty Ginsu. Ricky goes about his normal offense, but he can't do moves like the crossbody without injuring his own ribs. He reverses a tombstone piledriver to his own, but he can't cover because of the ribs. Regal gets frustrated and throws Steamboat over the top. Ricky tries to skin-the-cat, but Sir William nails him in the head with the umbrella. That allows Regal to cover and pick up the title at 16:55. Simple pro-wrestling at its best. Steamboat has injured ribs. Regal works the ribs. Regal wins the title. Sometimes, you don't need wives and dead ex-girlfriends and evil CEOs. **3/4

The Nasty Boys promise a big surprise for the Horsemen. Too bad the Horsemen didn't watch the Orlando tapings while they were backstage so they'd know it was Missy Hyatt.

Big Sky vs. Charlie Norris.
"Charlie Norris?" Seriously? The stories surrounding these guys are far more interesting than the match. Norris, no relation to Charles Norris, aka the other Charlie Norris, aka Chuck Norris, was a journeyman who they gave an Indian gimmick (the tomahawk kind, not the cow-worshipping kind). I think there's a rule that you have to have at least one Native American gimmick at any given time. His biggest claim to fame was teaming with the Shockmaster, and after his career didn't take off, he quit WCW and filed a racial discrimination suit. I don't believe anything significant came of it, but Norris disappeared from mainstream wrestling until he resurfaced with Tito Santana's American Wrestling Federation in the mid-1990s. Big Sky is Tyler Mane (actually Daryl Karolat, but I'll go with Mane because it's cooler). Mane was formerly known as "Nitron," Nancy Sullivan's bodyguard. That gimmick didn't have a long shelf life, so he was revamped as "Big Sky." How that draws more money than Nitron, I'm not certain. Anyway, his career as a wrestler was undistinguished, but he went on to greater fame as Sabretooth in the first X-Men movie. Sadly, he didn't have the acting chops to make the Wolverine spin-off and was replaced by Liev Schrieber. Mane landed on his feet, though, as his size made him the perfect candidate to play the gigantic manchild Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's remake (and now sequel) of Halloween. Norris wins with a Rides on Bicycle Kick to the face at 4:34. Big Sky was the lesser half of a tag team with Kevin Nash and Norris wrestled like a spazzy Tatanka, so you can guess how good this was. 1/2*

Scott Dunlop interviews Davey Boy Smith. Dunlop, for those who don't remember, had cerebral palsy. Sorry, but I just can't listen to him without thinking of Kramer screaming, "When they pull that needle out, I let the eckthpletiveth fly!"

2 Cold Scorpio & Marcus Alexander Bagwell vs. Paul Orndorff & The Equalizer.
It's really uncomfortable to watch Bagwell as he existed back then. Imagine the Heartthrobs if they were babyfaces. The Equalizer is the guy futurely known as Dave "Evad" Sullivan. 2 Cold and Bagwell were slightly above JTTS at this point, which is odd because they'd be tag champions soon after. The Equalizer uses his size to take over on Bagwell. Bagwell plays poofy-haired face-in-peril. The heels want to work over Bagwell a little too much, and their doubleteam backfires. That allows Scorpio to hit the 450-splash on Equalizer for the win at 10:45. Scorps was okay here as the fast food and (allegedly) crack hadn't derailed his career. *

Ice Train vs. Shanghai Pierce (w/Tex Slazenger).
You know Shanghai as Henry O. Godwinn and Tex as Phinneas. Here, HOG wears a mask, making him look like a poor man's Vader. Ice Train, coincidentally, is Harold Hoag, the notoriously juiced up black guy. In addition to Native American gimmicks, you have to have the black powerhouse. The Train would go on to form Fire and Ice in the mid-1990s and resurface in the dying days of WCW as M.I. Smooth. Pierce and Slazenger try cheating, but it backfires. That allows Train to powerslam Pierce for the win at 3:26. 1/4*

WCW Tag Team Titles: Arn Anderson & Paul Roma vs. The Nasty Boys (w/Missy Hyatt).
The Nasty Boys just got a lot nastier. The Nasties were already taped months earlier coming out with the belts, so this one is not in doubt. They also had Missy Hyatt with them, so her debut here was not exactly in doubt. I won't recap because this was nearly 25 minutes of horrible "action." Missy does look good in a leopard-print full spandex suit, though. Roma gets a Victory Roll, but the ref is out of position. Arn hits the spinebuster, but the ref has to put him out of the ring. That allows Saggs to come off the top onto Roma at 24:00. Pretty atrocious. Normally Arn is good for at least **, but given that he'd actually lost the titles months earlier, he probably wasn't in the mood to give effort. 1/2*

Recap of Cactus Jack's win over Vader on WCWSN. That led to a rematch with Jack getting powerbombed on the floor. Oy. This was a great start to one of the biggest botched angles of all time. Cactus got amnesia from the powerbomb and went to live with the homeless in Cleveland. When Harley Race admitted he stole Cactus' little bag, it jogged Cactus' memory… except it was all a ruse.

Bounty Match: Cactus Jack vs. Yoshi Kwan (w/Harley Race).
Kwan is Harley's bounty hunter, much like Boba Fett. He's played by Chris Champion in the usual "white guy as evil Asian" gimmick. In addition to the Native American and powerhouse black guy, you need a generic evil Asian. Interesting note on Champion: he had a cool gimmick back in the 1980s as part of "The New Breed." He and Sean Royal claimed to be from the far off year of 2002 where Dusty Rhodes was the President of the United States. No. Really. I know it's a close call, but I think I would have preferred that reality. Can you imagine the post-9/11 speech?! "The tewowists, if you weel, hate uth fo ow fweedomth, daddeh." Anyway, Champion worked too stiff and got fired after some guys at the top complained. This is short and unmemorable. Cactus hits the Cactus clothesline early. Lots of brawling and goofy selling by Kwan. Kwan and Race go for a doubleteam, but it backfires and Cactus hits Kwan with the DDT at 3:37. What is with that finish tonight? Cactus retrieves his bag. I'm not sure we ever found out what that was all about. Speaking of bounty hunters, did anyone prefer Bossk to Boba Fett? *

Highlights of Rick Rude and his fannypack on "A Flare for the Gold" sexually assaulting Fifi the Maid and attacking Ric Flair.

WCW International Heavyweight Title: Ric Flair (w/Fifi) vs. Rick Rude.
This is for the now-meaningless "Big Gold Belt." When they set it up, it was for the NWA Title, but WCW withdrew from the NWA just days later. They kept the physical belt and renamed it the "WCW International World Heavyweight Title" as distinguished from the "WCW World Heavyweight Title" that Vader wore. Having two World Titles is like trying to watch two movies at the same time – you'd think more is better, but they wind up distracting from one another. I'm not sure what happened here, but they never click. Rude decides to kill the match dead with a chinlock, and they pay more attention to Fifi on the outside than they do to the match. The boredom continues with a Rude bearhug. If Chev Chelios was watching this match, he'd be dead already. Flair fights back and hits his own Rude Awakening. ONE, TWO, THR-Rude gets his foot on the ropes. This was way before guys started stealing each other's finishers (outside of the figure-four, which was something of a staple in Flair matches). Rude stops to kiss Fifi and yanks her into the ring. Flair jumps him from behind and locks in the figure-four. The ref is busy putting Fifi out of the ring, though. That allows Rude to pull a FOREIGN object out of his tights and nail Rude with it for the win at 30:47. Long-ass match. Even without the Rude restholds, this just didn't get off the ground. **

Wargames: Sting, Shockmaster, Dustin Rhodes & The British Bulldog vs. Vader, Sid Vicious & Harlem Heat (w/Harley Race).
Shockmaster started as some sort of alien stormtrooper, but after the debacle that was his debut, they turned him into a construction worker. Jesus, it looks like he ate every single one of the Village People. The babyfaces don't want Dustin to wrestle, but he darts in and closes the door behind him to face… ::gulp:: Vader. Vader tries to cripple Dustin. Can you believe they wrestled at the 1998 Royal Rumble? Isn't it weird how much people change? Speaking of change Kane is the #2 guy in, and it's not the Kane that you know. This is Stevie Ray of Harlem heat. Nothing happenin'. Sting comes in. Then Sid. Then Bulldog. Kole (Booker T) hops in to make it 4-on-3. All is lost until… THE SHOCKMASTER makes the save. No. Seriously. Even Tony Schiavone remarks on his ability to get into the ring without tripping. He picks up Booker in the bearhug and forces him to submit at 16:39. Book…erm, Kole says he never gave up and promises to kill somebody. Well, this was just a big pile of nothin'. It looked like it might be interesting with Dustin being at odds with his teammates. Instead, they just rushed through en route to putting over the Shockmaster. **

Started out okay with the Steamboat/Regal match, but it was ALL downhill after that. The talented guys either didn't give effort, were mismatched, or had been beaten down by bad booking. The rest was just horrible gimmicks and wrestling. One of the worst shows of all time. Just awful.
Thumbs down.

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