TLC 2010

Opening Match, Intercontinental Title, Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston.
Striker's position on Vickie this month: he's making fun of her. Ziggler goes up quickly but gets dumped. Swagger has to duck out and get some medical attention on his wrist. Back in, he slingshots Dolph up into the ladder in a sick spot. Kofi busts out the first crazy spot, springboarding from the apron to the ladder and swinging into a dropkick on Swagger. Dolph delivers the Ziggledropper onto Kofi on the ladder, which was on top of Swagger, knocking everyone out. Vickie tries to go up, but Kofi threatens to tip the ladder over and dump her. Ziggler begs long enough for Swagger to jump Kofi from behind. Swagger grabs Kofi in the anklelock, but Kofi crawls up anyway. Ziggler leapfrogs BOTH guys and goes up. Kofi fights off Swagger but winds up in the sleeper on top of the ladder. He fights out of that and wins a test of strength at the apex of the ladder. Kofi tries to reach up, but Swagger jumps up and fights with him over the belt. Swagger and Kofi knock the belt loose, allowing Ziggler to scramble over and pick it up off the mat for the win at 8:55. Ziggler was supposed to catch the title, but that doesn't really change anything. All three guys looked hungry for success, and that's a good thing. Since September, Dolph has looked like he wanted to OWN that top Smackdown spot that he eventually earned in 2011. Anyhoo, this had classic potential, but they needed more time. ***

Wade Barrett gives the Nexus a pep talk.

Divas Tag Team Table Match: LayCool vs. Natalya & Beth Phoenix.
Striker: "Beth was rendered injured by both Michelle and Layla." I know this is super-picky, but wouldn't it just be easier to say, "Layla and Michelle injured Beth,"? The babyfaces have an incredibly witty table painted with caricatures of LayCool. Michelle gets knocked off the apron but jumps over a table. Beth gets dumped right on her head. Sick bump there. Michelle sets up for the Stylish Clash through the table, but Beth saves. Natalya goes for the double Sharpshooter. The faces try a press slam on Layla, but McCool makes the save. Layla tosses Beth into the post, though, setting up a superplex attempt. Instead, Natalya fights them off and shoves them onto the table. A splash finishes LayCool moments later at 9:20. Really? They gave this more time than the opener? Not a complaint. Just a surprise. It was pretty good for a Divas match. **

Kane delivers the usual disturbed promo before ripping up the Christmas set. The only pop was for the words "Tables, Ladders & Chairs" like they changed the name of the town or something.

WWE Tag Team Titles: Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel (w/Michael McGillicutty & Husky Harris).
Gabriel looks like a bearded Harry Hamlin. He tries to wrestle with Santino, setting up the goofiest leg sweep you'll ever see. Don't sweep the leg, Johnny! Gabriel is so shocked by it that Santino is able to slug him. The faces dominate until Harris trips Vladimir from the floor. Kozlov gets a beatdown until he uses his head to come back. Santino gets the hot tag, but McGillicutty blatantly clips his leg curing the Cobra for the DQ at 6:28. A Nexus beatdown ensues with Wade Barrett lending a hand (and chair). These matches were just fodder for Santino to do shtick. The Nexus did get some good heat for beating up the fans' favorite, though. **

WWE Title #1 Contender's Match: Sheamus vs. John Morrison.
These two had quite the spiffy little rivalry late in 2010. Cole actually gets the correct definition of parkour, calling it a method of getting from point to point as quickly as possible. Thanks to pop culture, it's considered some sort of new-fangled martial art. Morrison slides under the ladder bridged across the apron and announce table. He follows that up with a leapfrog corkscrew clothesline. That looks cool and all, but Sheamus just yanks him down into the ladder-of-woe. Simple and brutal always works. He one-ups that by pushing the ladder over with Morrison still tied in it. As if that's not enough, he locks Morrison's leg in the ladder and then slams it down. Morrison desperate kicks the ladder away from him so he can't go up, so Sheamus snapmares him by the leg! Sheamus charges but gets drop-toeholded into the ladder. To the floor, Sheamus delivers his Billy Robinson backbreaker. They both grab ladders and try a duel. Sheamus gets his fingers smashed, so Morrison just launches the ladder into his face. FUCK YO FACE! Morrison goes up, but his knee is so hurt that he has trouble getting up. Sheamus Brogue Kicks him off and goes up. Morrison climbs the other side and huracanranas Sheamus to the floor. Morrison gets his fingertips on the contract, but Sheamus tips him over. Morrison gets dumped to the floor and has to fight his way back in. He tries to suplex Sheamus onto that earlier bridged ladder, but Sheamus drags him back in. Big mistake. Morrison jumps off, taking Sheamus with him, and puts Sheamus through that ladder. Morrison hobbles back into the ring and grabs the contract as Sheamus drags himself in. Sheamus gives it one last gasp and tips the ladder over, but Morrison steadies himself with the good leg and shoves the ladder back over. He kicks Sheamus right in the face for good measure and retrieves the contract to become the #1 contender at 19:10. If nothing else, this demonstrates that it's not so much that the gimmick is played as that wrestlers don't do enough with it. This had the feel of one of those Razor Ramon/Shawn Michaels ladder matches only with Razor playing heel. It was more about intensity and using the ladder to your advantage than setting up and hitting spots. Star-making performances here. ****

Josh Mathews asks the Miz who will be champion for John Morrison's challenge. That's a really dumb question to ask the champion. Barrett and Harris wander through and discover the rest of the Nexus laid out.

WWE Heavyweight Title, Tables Match: Miz (w/Alex Riley) vs. Randy Orton.
Well, with Morrison winning the #1 contendership, that pretty much telegraphs who will come out of this with the title. Orton dominates early on, but Riley shoves the tables under the ring to buy Miz time. Miz recovers from a beating and dropkicks a table into Orton. Miz takes over and puts Randy on a table. He goes up, but Randy rolls off before Miz can take flight. Back in, Orton hits an Angleslam. Orton sets up for a superplex through the table, but Riley pulls the table out of the way. They exchange moves, and the ref gets bumped. Alex Riley runs in but gets RKO'd. Orton puts Riley through a table, but Miz sneaks up and delivers the Skull-Crushing Finale to Orton. The ref is recovering, so Miz shoves Riley's carcass aside and replaces it with Orton's. The ref recovers and sees Orton there, so he thinks Orton went through the table. That's a Miz win at—wait. The ref sees what happened on the WWE Tron and restarts the match. Orton blitzes Miz and tosses him back in. Miz shoves Riley into Orton, knocking him off the apron and through a table at 13:40. Miz worked okay as an ineffectual champion who weaseled his way to wins, but then he got so over that they decided to push him as a real honest-to-badness heel… which sucked for him because heels have a bad time of it once they run into John Cena. The match was okay for what it was, and that was a way to get Miz over as the wholly undeserving champion who sneaks out victories. **1/2

In the back, Alberto Del Rio hits on a hot Latina broad before spying Edge in his car. Edge says he'll have a competitive advantage since he's been in TLC matches before.

World Heavyweight Title, TLC Match: Edge vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio.
Mysterio comes out in KISS regalia. The actual mask looks pretty cool. Someone should rip that off. Edge pairs off with Kane, and they boot each other down on the floor. Rey goes up early, but he's too damn short to reach the belt. Del Rio sends him over on top of the others. Del Rio. Slowly. Goes. Up. Okay, you need a reason not to go up quickly. Rey recovers and puts another ladder in. Rey rides the ladder into him in a clumsy spot. Kane simply tosses Mysterio into a ladder to take him out. Meandering clusterfuckery abounds. Edge and Kane had very weird heel/face dynamics at this point. Mysterio holds Kane on a table on the floor, and Edge comes off a ladder inside the ring to splash Kane through it. Edge doesn't even think about doing stuff like that anymore. "Twenty-foot splash? Hell, why not?" It used to be a big deal. Mysterio double-crosses Edge and goes up, but Del Rio stops him. Edge returns and spears everybody. They all brawl up to the entrance where everyone teams up against Kane. Rey climbs up a flying table prop and comes off onto Kane. Everyone else is down, so Rey sprints to the ring. Del Rio cuts him off, though. They all return to the ring and fight off a pair of ladders. That leads to a trainwreck spot, so Roberto Rodriguez goes up. Kane catches him and chokeslams him. Mysterio 619s Kane and goes up. Del Rio drags him down again. Cross armlock follows. See, there's a reason not to go up immediately. He wants to inflict more punishment on a guy he doesn't like. Del Rio finally goes up, but Rey pushes him over. Del Rio takes a big bump through a table. Rey tries a quebrada on Kane, but Kane catches him and Tombstones him. Kane cackles and goes up, but Edge returns and wears him out with a chair. Edge spears Kane off the apron, through a table. That leaves Edge alone to go up and collect the title at 22:43. I was expecting a bit more creativity in the storytelling, or at least some new spots. Mostly, it was just throwing each other through tables and shoving ladders over. Not that those things don't provide a hell of a lot of entertainment, but a really good match needs more than that. Like the Royal Rumble or a Ric Flair match, TLC matches have a ***-threshold of quality. This at least hit that mark. ***1/4

Dashing Cody Rhodes comes out to give 'dashing' tips, but he's interrupted by the Big Show dressed as Santa. Santa hands out Knucklehead DVDs, and they talk about Knucklehead on DVD, as Cody makes fun of Big Show for not having dignity because he appeared in his underwear in Knucklehead on DVD, but it turns out he's just jealous he can't be in movies like Knucklehead on DVD while the Big Show can. Show slams him and strips him of his nice suit.

Knucklehead on DVD.

In the back, John Cena smashes Husky Harris in the head with a chair to even the odds.

CM Punk joins the commentary crew for the next match.

Chair Match: John Cena vs. Wade Barrett.
John Cena has been in TLC Matches, Cage Matches, Hell in a Cell Matches, but perhaps none so dangerous as a chair match. Wade gets his hands on a chair early, but Cena keeps avoiding his swipes. Cena gets his own, but the ensuing duel knocks the chairs from both their hands. Cole talks about how much Cena missed the fans' reactions while he was fired. Yeah, that was a harrowing two hours. Cena drop-toeholds Barrett into a chair. Long, boring segment follows as they battle up the ramp. Cena gets the advantage and rolls Barrett down the ramp in an office chair right into the steel steps. That's some Bugs Bunny-level shit right there. No wonder the kids like him. Barrett shrugs that off and Pillmanizes Cena's neck against the ringpost. Back in the ring, Cena tries to make the Superman comeback, but Wade cuts off his shoulderblock with a chairshot. Cena struggles back and starts to roll, but Barrett counters the Attitude Adjustment and hits a chairshot. Barrett tries to come off the second rope and drive a chair into Cena's face, but Cena rolls to safety. Cena hits some wicked chairshots and AAs Barrett through some set-up chairs. That's enough for the pin at 19:08. SuperCena arguments aside, the match followed a logical progression and made the chair seem like an important part of the match. That's important for a match that is based on an object that has became a cliché for wrestling when these guys were barely ten years old. ***

After the match, Cena drops a strand of chairs that had been hanging as part of the set on top of Wade (who was laying safely under a rolling pallet). That's sold as some kind of big deal and led to Punk taking over the Nexus, but it's not nearly as impressive as they made it out to be.